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26 March 2016

Ukip's David Coburn Tried To 'Set The Record Straight' And Made An Ass Of Himself

Oh, dear, David.

After the Scottish Leaders Debate, Coburn was referred to on Twitter as Shouty McShoutyFace

Scottish current affairs magazine Holyrood yesterday ran a piece in which Ukip MEP David Coburn (he of the ill-fitting 1950's tweeds, cape, deerstalker and toaster anger) wanted, he said, to 'set the record straight'.

Or, as the journalist pointed out, 'demanded an interview, repeatedly' because he was 'left out' of the magazine 'Conference' issue.

No Coburn here
The fact that he was left out is quite understandable when you consider that not only was the photo of leaders of parties with actual elected officials in Scotland - but also that Ukip in Scotland are polling very low. Really very low.

On the independant bias-free "What Scotland Thinks", Ukip were lumped in with 'Other Parties' at 3% and actually polled at 0% with TNS/BRMB.

What puzzled us was firstly, why Coburn thought he had a right to demand an interview. If the media thought Ukip were contenders they'd have included him. They aren't - so they didn't.

Secondly, after his abysmal track record in dealing with the media, we wonder how Coburn ever thought an interview would improve his standing.

In the Scottish Leaders Debate (in which he was included, despite him leading a Party of .. well, just himself, really) he was scored at 1/10 and became laughing stock on Social Media.

The full interview is here, but we thought we'd simply quote a few select items directly from it.
  • Journalist: "The leader of UKIP in Scotland demanded he too was interviewed. Around a dozen tweets then followed, including whether or not Holyrood magazine is funded by the EU.

    - Ah the old 'funded by the EU' line. Often used by Ukip when any media mentions anything derogatory about them.
    Often a ridiculous accusation levelled against the BBC - who get 0.29% of their funding from an EU Grant source. The journalist perhaps should have pointed out that Coburn's entire lifestyle is actually 'funded by the EU'.
  • Journalist: "He apologised for his appearance upon arrival.."

    He probably has to do that a lot. The man's wardrobe is a joke. That's not political, just an observation.

  • Journalist: "He had been at a foodbank, he said.."

    - Ukip 'freeloading' seems to know no limits.
  • Journalist: "... and didn’t want to appear too well dressed.."

    - Yeah ... ain't never gonna happen.
  • Journalist: "He said he was also sick. The European Parliament is full of viruses, he said, which are brought in from all over the continent’s member states. The minute you get over the Bulgarian flu, you are hit by Romanian flu.."

    - Okay, so the EU is to blame for his poor health? Nothing to do with his obesity nad poor lifestyle? Unsurprising he blames Bulgarians and Romanians, it's a Farage thing.
  • Coburn: [On 'perceived BBC bias'] “If I don’t get what I want I am very happy to tear up my BBC license fee in public, and encourage everyone in Scotland, especially those on the UKIP side, to do likewise with theirs. I am going to tear it up in public. On television and in the press and everything. If other people choose to do the same, jolly good."

    - This thing that Ukip have with the BBC? Simple solution: Ukip, don't appear on the BBC.
    - "If I don’t get what I want" ? What right does Coburn, a barely-elected official with a minimal 10% of the EU MEP vote, have to demand that our national public broadcasting service make any changes to suit him or his party? If anything, the BBC 'bias' is not 'anti-Ukip' but 'pro-Tory'.
  • Coburn: “They [the BBC] have very swanky offices, they have very swanky lifestyles.." 
  • Journalist: I am not sure that is definitely true.

    - Coburn clearly here is confusing the cash-strapped BBC with the lifestyles of the lazy, EU-funded, invoice-tripling, expenses-defrauding Ukip MEPs.
  • Journalist: But Coburn can see why he wasn’t featured on the Holyrood cover? It was a photo of the leaders in the Scottish Parliament.
  • Coburn: “It should be those who aspire to be in parliament.”
  • Journalist: "There are a lot of people that aspire to be in parliament."
  • Coburn: “Well, they should be on there.”
  • Journalist: Everyone that aspires to be in the Scottish Parliament should appear on the cover of Holyrood magazine?
  • Coburn: “Why not? I don’t see why not."

    - Coburn seemingly unaware that the decision about content or cover of a magazine is the decision of the editorial team.
  • Coburn: “The Daily Record, which is no friend of UKIP, has us down on six per cent, which would mean seven seats. The Mail said the same. Subsequent to that, I have heard there is another one coming out which has us on nine or ten per cent."

    - No recent poll in Scotland has had Ukip at 'nine or ten per cent'. Actually, no poll in Scotland has ever had Ukip at 'nine or ten per cent'.
  • Coburn: [On GE2015] ".. Nicola and her hordes. Who wanted that?"

    - Er... (checks ...) Pretty much most of Scotland, apparently. Well, that's democracy for you.
  • Coburn: "If we lose the referendum I would put reasonable money on the next UK government being UKIP."

    - Not sure whether this is a veiled threat ('Vote Brexit, or you get Farage, you have been warned') or the rantings of a drunk.
  • Coburn: "I can assure you that whatever the Prime Minister may have agreed and deposited with the Vatican or the United Nations or whoever, whatever he agreed is just nothing. They will be progressing towards a pan-European currency, they will be determined to get us into that, they have projects for a common army, a common airforce, a common foreign ministry. It is all being hidden. Because they are going to be bringing out all the things they have got hidden. Like the electric toasters."

    - This is now pure 'tin foil hat' conspiracy theory madness.- 'Pan-European currency'? We opted out.- 'A common army, a common airforce'? Myths.- And we knew he'd get toasters a mention somehow. All of this is unfounded gibberish with no factual basis at all. If there were, he'd - and Ukip - would show it in a heartbeat.
  • Coburn: "The EU is a self-perpetuating bureaucratic monster that exists to employ more bureaucrats.”

    - The 'bureaucratic monster' myth.- The EU employs less 'bureaucrats' (about 33,000) than a moderate-sized British City Council, like Leeds. That's less than a third of those who work at HM revenue and Customs. Spain has 3 Million Bureaucrats.- In comparison to most continent-wide organisations, the EU is pretty slimmed-down. Even anti-EU MEPs have been known to moan about 'under-staffing' at the EU.
  • Coburn: [After a media piece in which he was criticised for referring to 'businessmen' and not 'businesspeople'] “From beginning to end, I answered the questions well. One of them asked me, after a faultless performance, about why I didn’t say ‘businesswomen’. I told them the genus is a man, as in mankind, and so women are a special sort of a man. What’s wrong with that?
  • Journalist: I don’t think mankind is a genus.
  • Coburn: “Oh, I think it is.”
  • Journalist: It’s not.

    - It's not.
  • Coburn: “I said a woman is a special sort of a man. They are. They are a man that can produce children."

    - This is so totally Ukip. Why not 'a man is a special kind of woman, but without a womb' ?
  • Coburn: "All our UKIP ladies are very feisty."

    - Yes - until they speak out of turn and get suspended.
  • Coburn: "And in UKIP there are more women in higher positions than there are men."

    - A claim we've seen before, since 2014. We checked on it, wasn't true then, certainly isn't now. Of course, depends what you mean by 'higher positions'.
  • Coburn: “I believe in something called freedom of speech."

    Tell that to Suzanne Evans. Or Douglas Carswell. Or Patrick O'Flynn. All sidelined because they exercised their 'Freedom of speech'.

  • Coburn: “We are living in a .. Scotland now, where we have a one-police police force.”

    - Coburn is referring here to the merger of 9 separate Police Forces into Police Scotland in 2013. Very few other people seem to have an issue with this.- It is still too early to see what effect this has had/will have on Policing in Scotland, but we can find no serious objections to it.
  • Coburn: “We have a one-party state.."
  • Journalist: We do have free elections.
  • Coburn: “Well, they haven’t had a chance to get rid of them yet, have they?”
  • Journalist: But my point is that we don’t live in a one-party state, because, even if they are planning to, no one has banned elections.
  • Coburn: “Yet. Give them time.”

    - Here we're in 'genuine tin foil hat' territory again. He seems to suggesting, seriously, that the SNP will ban Democratic Elections. Yeah. Right.
  • Coburn: "There is a palpable fear of speaking your mind in this country, or you can be arrested.”
  • Journalist: I say I don’t think that is true.
  • Coburn: "I can assure you that is what people say. They are always looking over their shoulder. You say the wrong thing and you can be lifted.”

    - 'Say the wrong thing and you can be lifted'. Sometimes, yes, under British Law. It's called Hate Speech.- It's the British Law that Coburn, as part of Ukip, presumably wants to be supreme over all others.
  • Journalist: It is hard to tell when Coburn is joking, or if he even knows, when he says this stuff.

    - That.

And we shall leave the final word to the journalist:
"It is not clear that he thinks about what he is saying, - even as he says it."

In summary

David, a word in your shell-like: You're really, really not good at this. Politics, we mean. And media. And facts and stuff.

Perhaps you should leave it to your best friend and Ukip colleague Arthur Thackeray?

Oh, we forgot. He's on bail from multiple sex crime charges. Probably not a good idea, then.

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